And in my eyes all was right with the world.

And in my eyes all was right with the world.

Many years ago I woke up from a numbing dead man walking state of mind. At the time of my entry into the underbelly of humanity I felt there was no hope, no need to try to strive, and I held no dream or thought that my world would ever be bright or right.

While desperately trying to shut down my reason, I began to let go of faith– faith in myself and faith in others.

All was not right in the world. I…who I really was…was fading away into an abyss full of darkness and a drug hazed existence. Addictions sharp teeth and claws ripped and tore at any resolve I once thought I had. All was not right in my world…it was all wrong.

Years of abuse and bitter days of being alone while surrounded by others just like me took its toll. My light was fading, and I was but a shell with near to no viable soul left. All was not right in the world.

Out of the blue on another day just like the last I was given an opportunity to remove myself from the environment I was in. I took that opportunity while the tiny fading light that once was my bright star of a soul began to sing to me a song. A song of hope and perserverance. Could things be all right in the world?

With that realization I held tightly to the thought that it was my choices that were all wrong. I grasped at the idea that it wasn’t the world…it was Me.

With eyes opened to the truth of the matter my ground down strength and desire to be alright in the world began to grow. I COULD be alright in the world!

I look back now and give thanks that I made it through it alive and I look forward and acknowledge that I have come a very long way and have a lot of life to live in this world.

My eyes have been opened…
I am all right…
AND ALL is RIGHT IN MY WORLD.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Easy Fix.”

And All Was Right In The World

Here for Now…Not Forever


phoenix_bird_symbol_of_immortality_tattoo_design

At a very young age I became very aware that life is truly fleeting. My mother always said that as a child I seemed to be aware of many things that were unusual for a young tot to be aware of…I would stare into people versus at people, I would sit for long periods of time pondering this toy or that toy, I read at an early age, I was sensitive to other people’s emotions etc.

I believe I became aware of life and death and our mortality due to the fact that I read books beyond my age group early on in my childhood. I was, and have never been, daunted or afraid of the idea of death or how infinitesimal our lives are in the big picture.

I, as a grade school child, became aware of a strong belief inside of myself that life was a cycle. I am sure it took quite a bit of maturing before I began to put the idea into actual words but I do remember thinking that there was more…that something beyond ‘this incarnation’ existed.

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Searching For AGood Nights Sleep


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In my endeavors, over many years, to catch a good night’s sleep I have failed at least 80% of the time. Try as I might to get everything done, to clear my mind, to settle in and settle down nothing seems to work when insomnia hits

I have tried herbal teas, valerian, melatonin, over the counter sleep aides, yoga, meditation, sleep music, etc to no avail. No matter what it is I employ to get me to sleep, it seems as if my circadian sleep cycle forgot it is supposed to be a cycle!!! Or rather yet it has failed to even exist!

I toss, I turn, I get back up and turn on the television. I curse, I cry, I pace to and fro…still to no avail. I used to find that wine would make my mind fuzzy enough to sneak in a few Z’s here and there through-out the night, however the after wine headache doesn’t seem to be completely worth it..if you know what I mean.

Sex , and I mean this seriously not negatively, seems to be the one tried and true remedy for insomnia…in my opinion. I know I know…who prescribes sex? And what the hell do you do if you’re not in a relationship of some kind where its readily available? I don’t know what to say to those questions folks. all I know is that according to several articles I have read your bed should be used for sex and sleep only!

http://www.psychologytoday.com/…/three-questions-about

therestdoctor.wordpress.com/2011/04/13/cansex-help-me-sleep-41311/

 answers.webmd.com/answers/1193730/how-doessex-help-you-sleep

 

Makes perfect sense to me! Now on the other hand I guess you’re kind of screwed (pardon the play on words here lol) if you look at it from another angle–If your sex life is such that it automatically puts you to sleep and sleep isn’t what your aiming for then ….Well then I, again, just don’t know what to say!!! It’s a damned if you do and a damned if you don’t kind of situation folks!

Here are a few more helpful websites on getting a good night’s sleep, I hope in the end we all find our own little special (wink wink) ways to put us down for the night

http://health.howstuffworks.com/wellness/natural-medicine/home-remedies/10-home-remedies-for-insomnia.htm

altmedicine.about.com/cs/conditionsitoq/a/Insomnia.htm

 

This post is in reference to the DP challenge

http//:daily.post.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/sleepy-time</div><p> </p>

Supercalifragilisticly Incredible! DP Challenge


When I get incredible news my reactions can vary highly depending entirely upon two things:

1. The news itself

2. The delivery method of the news.

If the news is good I could be witnessed jumping on the table and doing a happy little ‘holy crap…are you for real?’ jig. I have also been known in this instances to lay a lip lock on the person giving me the news; not always a good thing, especially when the news delivery person is the local monsignor. I am not even catholic and that one had me doing a few Hail Marys.  

If the news is not so good I can generally assure you that there will be cursing, stomping of the feet and possibly a few hopefully non-fatal projectiles flying across the room.  Also there may be some hair pulling, not necessarily my own hair either! 

Now as far as the delivery method of news my reactions can indeed be incredible; incredibly pissed off or incredibly elated and appreciative.

I detest bad news via text, email, or voicemail. I find it crude and those that delivery it in that manner make my blood boil. I find it incredibly maddening that people would deliver bad news this way…come on show some backbone, be an incredible person and look me in the eye when breaking my heart, turning me down, or breaking sad news to me. This world wasn’t built on deals being made, treaties signed (and as incredible as it may seem, broken), states unionized, babies being made, declarations signed, discoveries being made etc.  by way of email or text!

Now on good news delivery…I don’t give a darn how I get it delivered to me just as long as I get it!  I find it incredible that I get it at all!!!

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/10/18/daily-prompt-incredible/

 

 

Michelangelos ME (DP Challenge October, 13)


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This last month of my life has been interesting indeed, not so active as I would prefer (due to an unfortunate incident of driving while slightly intoxicated and a house arrest situation), but interesting all the same. Please let me interject here that I do regret my actions and I am fully aware that I was in the wrong.

If Michelangelo were to sculpt an event , person or thing from my last month it would be perhaps his most interesting work to date! I mean after all a statue carved in marble depicting house arrest would certainly raise an eyebrow or two…wouldn’t you agree?

I imagine the sculpture would be of me with a land line phone to my ear with a 200 foot cord attached. I am monitored by periodic phone calls during which a computerized British voice asks me to repeat a phrase for voice verification.  The inscription would be one of the three phrases the computerized voice on the other end of the phone line asks me to repeat; Strike while the iron is hot, in for a pound in for a penny, tomorrow is another day, the eagle has landed, or perhaps it could be the very ironic phrase of  there’s no place like home!!!

Yep, my image carved in marble to be seen by future generations would most certainly be amusing to say the least! However I must say I am glad this Michelangelo nor any other sculptor will not be immortalizing my house arrest agony in marble because I for one do not wish to be remembered for this shit!!!

 

 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/10/13/daily-prompt-significant/

SENSITIVE


If I were to give one sense and have another made super sensitive I would give up my sense of smell and have my sight enhanced.

At my age I have smelled a lot of things and though smell is related to taste I think I would manage. I can use my memory of what I have tasted and my imagination to augment my dulled taste due to not having a sense of smell. 

With enhanced sight the world would open up in a myriad of new avenues. My super enhanced vision would possibly allow the ability to see peoples auras easily, energy waves and patterns would become clearly noted through my eyes. The color spectrum would widen, and the intensity of color would be like something straight out of a 60’s hippies diary. 

The distance at which I could see things approaching would finally afford me enough time to prepare for an unexpected visit from in in-laws and relatives, not to mention time enough to shut off all the lights, lock the doors and pretend I am not home when that bothersome person comes  knocking!!!!

The beauty of a flower, a bird in flight, the ocean etc. Would all be enhanced exponentially however the down side of that is that so would all the ugly. But perhaps with this gifted vision gift I would  be able to see through the ugly to what may lie beneath (something I endeavor to do anyway but as we all know …that shit is far from easy).

In closing, I think that super sight would be awesome if it is true that when the end comes there will be signs we all see; With super sight I will see those signs sooner and therefore have plenty of time to bend over and kiss my own butt goodbye!